You will hardly see me write about quitting something given that all I tolerate is positive vibes. Well, here I am suggesting you quit some things you and I consciously or unconsciously do, yes, unconsciously. We oftentimes tolerate or engage in some things that deprives us of our happiness. Quitting these three things helped me regain my confidence and happiness when I recently acknowledged and stopped them.
1. Quit being a people-pleaser
PPeople pleasing is not what we consciously go about doing. People pleasing is one of those characteristics that most nice people possess, but hard to get tagged as people pleasing. Merriam-Webster defined people-pleasers as people who want to please other people. There is nothing wrong in having an opinion and letting people know about it or showing your displeasure without being bias or sentimental to people’s feeling thereby throwing yours into the pocket. However, we cannot keep going extra miles for everyone at the expense of our needs, norms, habits or emotional needs.
As good as it may sound or feel, we cannot please everyone. I personally believe that being a people-pleaser means we are signing up to please over seven billion people. Of course, no human can fully please a single soul. There is always room for improvement. If you want to reach your goals, focus on giving people your best every time rather than pleasing people. If you are not sure if you are a people-pleaser, please check this article out.
2. Quit being afraid of rejection
Rejection stinks especially when we have put our hopes on something, waited and did every possible thing we can to ensure we are accepted or celebrated. Despite the disappointments of the past, we have to continue to take actions and not be afraid of failing because of past rejections.
The best thing we can do is to be prepared for rejection while being hopeful. You applied for a job but got told “No, we are moving on with another candidate”? It is time to move on, improve yourself and try again. You applied for a financial grant, did everything right but got a disapproval report? Learn from the pass process and move up to bigger things.
Rejection should be the fuel to move forward. Do not let it be the ticket to the pity party.
3. Quit expecting people to make you happy
While being happy is what everyone should strive for, it is also important to know that happiness is not “for given” by another individual. Our family and friends do not owe us happiness even though they may have promised it. Our happiness is solely our responsibility. If another individual makes us happy, that’s great – icing on the cake.
Being conscious of what or who makes us happy is important. Drawing towards these people is equally important, but we should never expect happiness to always be given. People have a lot going on for them. I can barely keep up with my appointments without setting up reminders or to-do list. Expecting someone like me to fulfill the “happiness giver role” is like expecting it to rain every day of our lives.
Living a purpose-driven and happy life is already hard enough. It does not get easier when you want to please everyone, fear rejection and expect the ever-changing people around you to make you happy. No matter what phase of life you are, quitting these three things sets you up for a smooth transition to the next phase of your life. Go out there and win!